I am very tired today. And very grumpy.
Very, very grumpy.
I went to bed early last night with my
book (The
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – am
engrossed in it), turned the light out at about 11.30pm and fell into
a deep sleep.
Well,
not that deep obviously 'cause at approximately 1.40am I woke to the
sound of knocking on my front window. I am in a ground floor
apartment so any noise outside can be heard from my bedroom.
I
was really terrified
There
it was – rap, rap, rap rap. Rap, rap, RAP, RAP, RAP. And I was
bloody terrified.
I
was broken into in January of this year so any unusual activity
during the wee hours has me on high alert.
I
prayed it was the wind and tried to ignore it but it got so
persistent that I had to go out and investigate – with my heart in
my mouth I might add.
It
was Old Flame and he was drunk as a skunk after being in the pub all
evening watching that Liverpool match.
I
snapped at him
I
ate the head off him for scaring me half to death – he knows I was
burgled before, which meant what he was doing was even more
incredibly stupid and inconsiderate.
Anyway,
it was freezing so I let him in and made him a cup of tea. He kept
saying he was sorry, it was just that he wanted to see me as he
missed me blah, blah, blah.
He
was plastered so I was trying not to read too much into anything he
was waffling on about. And I was relieved when he finally passed out
on my couch.
Of
course it then took me a good hour to get back to sleep myself. I was
kind of seething with him and when you're seething it's hard to
relax.
I
was still fairly livid when I woke
I
nodded off eventually and when I woke this morning I was still pretty
livid. I was just thinking, what the hell is he at?
And
then I discovered that OF had LEFT at some point between 2.15am-ish
and 7.15am and I went into a full on RAGE.
I
called him before I even had a shower, got his voicemail and left him
an obnoxious message that contained the f-word at least twice.
And
when he returned my call about an hour later I used expletive after
expletive again as I demanded to know why he thought it might be cool
to turn up hammered on my doorstep at all hours, crash on my sofa and
then not even have the decency to wait 'til I got up to leave.
I
yelled in a fury
“Is
it that you only find me attractive when you're ossified?” I yelled
at him. “That you only miss me after about 12 pints? Or was it that
you just wanted to have sex and you figured I was an easy lay?”
He
tried to answer me – he even tried to suggest meeting up later I
think – but I told him to shut the you know what up and switched my
phone off.
I
am furious. Absolutely furious. Both with him and with myself.
Because if I'm totally honest there was a small and really stupid
part of me that was glad he had come knocking on my window.
And
then I wake up and he's legged it? Yep, I am the bigger eejit for
even remotely buying into that crap.
Then
I log on here...
Meanwhile
I get into work and I log on here only to discover I am apparently
akin to a sedative, in a lull, in need of a makeover and about to be
buried? Lovely. Flippin' lovely.
I
suppose that's why I'm single – I'm just one big bore! Sure jaysus,
OF only lasted about a half an hour in my company last night before
he became unconscious!
Anyone
else have a knife they'd like to stick in me?! I mean, I'm already
having a bad day – another couple of jibes might put me out of my
misery by finishing me off completely!