Belated St Patrick's Day greetings to one and all! Hope everyone had a green old time of it. I didn't.

I kind of blanked the occasion as I was working – from home that is. Although I did have a few drinks in town on Tuesday night.

Anyway, seeing as SbowQueen was picking on me the other day I feel compelled to respond. God, I've missed her telling me off!

OK, so she is making the point that the 29-year-old is a mere six or so years younger than me so I need to stop with the whole younger man nonsense 'cause he's really not that much younger.

It's about the stages we're at in life

I agree – it's not like there's a massive age gap. My issue is more the stage he's at in his life versus the stage I'm at in mine.

I'm not being sexist or anything here, but if he was 36 and I was 29 I don't think it would be a problem. The fact that I'm older changes things though.

Let's face it – I'm heading into my late 30s and any woman in that place is thinking about the dreaded biological clock.

I'm not sure about children

I'm not saying I think about it a lot. I honestly don't. As I've said before, I'm not even sure I want children. But that's it – I'm not sure.

What if I decide that I do want kids? I only have about four years left to figure this out and find a man to have them with. (I would be a bit chary about getting pregnant after 40 but that's just my personal opinion.)

But a guy who has yet to hit 30 is not going to be thinking about starting a family for another while. OK, so maybe some of them might. Of course there are exceptions. But I believe the majority of them are still enjoying their freedom.

We are worlds apart

Hence while the 29-year-old may be only six-ish years my junior, we are worlds apart in other ways and when it comes to the important stuff he really is a younger man.

Having said all of that, I'm not going to not sleep with him because of this. I'm not one of these crazy women who refuses to entertain any male until she knows he's marriage material and willing to make babies.

I'm realistic as well

But I'm realistic too and I wanted to explain why I truly feel that the 29-year-old may not be quite a toy boy, but he certainly is a younger man in my eyes.

But he's also gorgeous and great fun and company and seeing as “the one” is nowhere to be seen and it's not looking like true love and domestic bliss is coming at me any day soon, well I'm going to enjoy the moment! Sure who in their right mind wouldn't?

I don't think I'm a bunny boiler

As for Hugo's comment that I may have come across as a bunny boiler when I went on the internet date with the guy who subsequently dumped me online. Mmm. That's given me food for thought.

But no – I don't think I displayed any loony behaviour over the course of the evening. I reckon we just weren't that into one another!

Right, I'm off for lunch. Oh by the way, I noticed that I'm on the “shortlist” (which is actually rather long!) in the Best Specialist Blog category for the 2010 Irish Blog Awards. How lovely to be included!


 

Comments (1)

  • Mar-18 - suziequeOh oh cant stop laughing at his assumption that you deleted your profile because of him, seriously, what a jackazz, would you even have the nerve to say something like that to anyone before it had even been discussed one on one. What has become of guys today ? So disappointing. Have fun with the younger guy kitten you deserve a little no strings attached fun.
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Despite the fact that it's Monday today, I am smiling. This would be because a) I'm off work and enjoying some time to myself and b) I scored with the 29-year-old at the weekend and it was just the tonic I needed.

After my below average second date with the internet guy last Tuesday, followed by some extremely arrogant behaviour from him, I was in the mood for some fun.

I didn't want strings and I didn't want to be in the company of any male who would be in a position to disappoint me. Hence the 29-year-old fitted the bill nicely.

There is no expectation

Like I said before, he is gorgeous to look at, great craic to hang out with and there is zero expectation, which makes being with him all the more enjoyable.

We'd been texting a bit all week and after I mentioned that I'd be home again on Friday he suggested a pint on Saturday night. And I readily agreed.

So I went to meet him in one of our locals at around 8.30pm and it all went very smoothly.

I am more used to hooking up with him in the wee hours of the morning so it was lovely to have a few sober bevvies with him before friends of both his and mine started turning up. (It's a small-ish town so it's hard to avoid people.)

I went back to his place

We got on famously for the entire night – so much so that I went back to his place for coffee (OK, an Irish coffee) after we finished up in the late bar we'd been in.

The last time I went home with him he was living with his parents so I was delighted to discover he's moved out now and has his own apartment.

I actually stayed over, although there was no sex. My jury's out on the casual shagging thing so I figured it was safer not to risk feeling soulless when I woke up!

Not that he was pushing me into anything – not at all. He was very gentlemanly I must say.

He made me toast and coffee in the morning and I left him at around 11am so I could go back to my parent's house to shower and be ready to take my mother out to lunch for Mother's Day.

Success all round

So all in all my weekend was a great success. I had a mild hangover accompanied by mild euphoria yesterday and by the time I returned to Dublin I was completely devoid of any Sunday night horrors.

Quite the opposite really – I was in flying form. My younger man has texted me a few times since we went our separate ways too so it's all good.

It's not like it's going to turn into a relationship or go anywhere and you know what? For a change I'm liking this sense of hopelessness. There's a lot to be said for living in and loving the moment and not fretting about the future!

 

Comments (2)

  • Mar-16 - HugoHi Kitten, Love the blog, been quietly reading from the sidelines for a while now, but this is the first time I feel the need to come in to comment. It's about the "extremely arrogant behaviour" of "the internet guy". I've not tried out the internet dating scene myself but quite a few of my friend have. From listening to their adventures, quite a few bunny boilers out are out there, and some of my friend are guilty of turning in to them! It's quite possible that "the internet guy" may have thought you were one and I think it very brave of him to let you know early on. Would you not be giving out if you thought he was ”the one” and he was leading you on? Also as for the second date not being as good as the first, did you make any effort to find out if there was any cause for that? Maybe he'd just got bad news; lost his job, his goldfish died....  Show Full Comment
  • Mar-16 - SbowQueen"I scored with the 29 year old"...."snogging"....."a casual shag"....do you speak like this to appease a younger demographic (if that's possible with the Irish Times) or because you genuinely talk this way at your age? He's a mere 6 or so years younger than you, will you please tire of the "younger man" thing (like I have)? You've gone from sudden sophistication and intelligence a few weeks ago (which men find far more attractive than a female boozer yakking about "shagging" and "getting laid") back to being a likable knob again. It's ok though. I did miss the "Kitten: The Teenage Years" dramas so welcome home! What's next? I sense a big old Dilemma!
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Oh my God, wait 'til I tell you all the latest! I'm actually gobsmacked!

 

Yesterday I decided I was over the whole internet dating thing. So I went onto the site I'd been using and I closed my account.

 

The thought of meeting one more guy only to realise he was an a-hole was too much for me. I figured it was better to just close down my profile and move on.

 

Then I got a text

Anyway, the bloke I went out with last week (great date) and then this week (not so great date) had my phone number and he texted me last night saying that he went to mail me via the website and saw that I was gone.

 

I replied, telling him that yes indeed, I was no longer a member. And he wrote back enquiring if this was because of him.

 

I genuinely didn't know what he was on about and my first thought was that he recognised that he wasn't very good company on Tuesday night and he was worried he'd put me off or something.

 

Here comes the clanger...

But I wasn't sure so I casually asked him what he meant. And here comes the clanger! A few more texts went back and forth between us until I finally discovered what he was getting at.


Wait for it – he thought I left the dating site because I met him and I figured we were having a relationship!

 

And he wanted me to know that yes, he likes me etc, but that he wasn't ready for anything serious.

 

I can't get over the arrogance

I nearly died of mortification on his behalf. Seriously – how arrogant could one person possibly be? He was one step away from telling me that we couldn't be exclusive!

 

I wasted no time telling him that he was barking up the wrong tree with this theory of his and I promptly deleted him from my contacts. What a utter plonker.

 

My taste is a concern

I'm really concerned now about my taste in men! I'm a huge fan of Take That and guess who my favourite member is? Yep – Mark Owen.

 

And it turns out that he's been bedding women left, right and centre, the dirty dog! He's just another male I got badly wrong!

 

I'm off home in a while for a long weekend and I'm going for a pint with the 29-year-old tomorrow night. This is all about some fun and nothing else…

 

Comments (1)

  • Mar-12 - olderlassoh my god!!! multi faceted personality or what.... I am on the other end of spectrum going out there trying to date........ your blog has me wondering should I bother... as for the sites there not funny !!!are there any normal genuine men outhere??
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Blogger Bio
KittenShe's single, she's in Dublin and she's on the pull. Meet Kitten O'Shea, Ireland's most popular singleton blogger.

It's a jungle out there and Kitten's going tell it like it is in the real world of dating. And in return, Kitten wants to hear from you.

So if you share her experience or have a dating tale to tell, click the comment button beneath the blog or email kitten@ireland.com – anonymously if you like...

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