Kitten O’Shea

A little more on the topic of internet dating...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:28:17 GMT

Um, so much for my theory that the 29-year-old would call 'cause I didn't really want him to. I haven't even gotten a text!

Jaysus, I've said this before, but I think my instincts have died a slow death over the years. I don't seem to be making any correct predictions these days.

Meanwhile, I logged back onto that dating site to see what the craic was and I remembered why I'm a little skeptical about the whole thing.

Online dating like being in a nightclub full of the same people?

I don't know – isn't trying to meet someone on the internet a little like being in a nightclub full of the same people day in, day out?

I say this because I hadn't been on the site in ages and yet the men there are no different since the last time I had a look.

There was one guy in particular who was pestering me a while back, and the minute I reappeared the other day he was sending me a new message. (I'd ignored the last couple of mails he'd written me so Lord knows why he was persisting.)

The one liners from the strange names

Then I started receiving one liners from members with names like “Nutsaboutyou”, “Horsebreath”, “Spankmaster”, “Hotfireman” and “Nopsychosplease”.

Actually I have a reluctant respect for he who doesn't want to meet any psychos – I don't think any of us want that and at least he's being straight up about it!

But what is fascinating about these particular males looking for females is the lack of effort some of them put into the hunt.

I mean seriously, if I get a message from a guy that says “Hey hon” – am I going to reply? No, I'm flippin' not! A longer sentence than that is required, thanks very much.

Photograph please...

I'm also not going to respond to a “Hi there, are you shy?” when it comes from a man who doesn't even have a photograph on his profile. As far as I'm concerned there is only one shy person in that exchange.

Everyone should have a picture, even if it's on a private setting. I don't understand someone who wants to online date but doesn't want to show a photo.

Yeah, yeah, I know personality is more important (and I do believe that), but cyber space can be impersonal enough without having a conversation with a faceless suitor.

But I won't give up yet

I won't dismiss or give up on the idea of internet dating just yet though – this is just my initial impression after logging back onto the site following an absence.

I guess it's unfortunate that I attracted a handful of lazy flirtations and anonymous come ons! I do think there's got to be some decent blokes on there somewhere.

Now I must dash. There's a match on as I'm sure you all know, and I'm trying to decide if I should watch it in the pub or in my friend's place (my shower is still bust.)

Well, wherever I go I just have one thing more to say – COME ON IRELAND!

I think I'm over the younger guy thing...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:56:02 GMT

I had some plumbing issues in my house on Friday and as none of my friends were around for the weekend I decided to head to my parents' yesterday morning for a night or two. (I couldn't cope without the shower!)

I'll head back to Dublin at the crack of dawn tomorrow and stay with my mate until my landlord fixes the problem.

Anyway, I went out last night, met the 29-year-old and spent the night in his bed. No sex though. He was up for it but I turned him down for the second time as I wasn't sure it was what I wanted.

Apparently he didn't save my number

So it turns out that he didn't have my number. I gave it to him but he didn't save it properly. Or so he said. Well, he's taken it again and it's definitely saved this time.

And I've a feeling he's going to call – because I genuinely think I'd prefer now if he didn't. That's always the way!

I had fun with him but I was thinking about it today and he is just too young for me. I really fancy him physically, but mentally and emotionally it's not happening. He seems like a nice guy, but he also seems to be a bit of a messer.

Life is a party to him

His favourite topics (ie only) are music and football. And it's like life is just one big party to him. I get the impression he suffers through Monday to Friday only to go utterly wild for the weekend.

I love a drink or two myself (as we all know!) but getting habitually trashed at the end of every week is a bit repetitive and juvenile in my opinion. He's 29 after all, not a student!

I'm sure there's more to him than meets my eye, but I'm not seeing it. He and I are on different pages and whether that's the age gap or not, who knows.

I realise he's only about six or seven years my junior – but it feels as if there's a huge generation gap there. I've almost always gone for older men in any case so I shouldn't be surprised by this I suppose.

So cute and all as some of these younger blokes are, I think I'll stick with my own age group and up from now on.

On the subject of internet dating

And on the subject of internet dating – I'm not against it as such. I disagreed with the person who suggested to me that it was all that was left for us single ladies in our mid-30s though. It's not! It can't be!

I've been a member of a dating site for a good while, however I've not met up with anyone yet. But I might. I'm not ruling it out. I've not been on it in ages come to think of it so I may log on now to see if I've any suitors!

And on the subject of the morning after asking for the number thingy

Oh and ta to Magnolea for letting me know that he took that girl's number. Perhaps it is the protocol to “always ask for a girl's number, even if it's just been a drunken random encounter, to at least leave the person with some shred of dignity”.

Personally I would rather a guy didn't ask for mine if he hadn't a notion of calling (yep, it's happened to me more than once!).

Sure, the goodbye bit in the morning is cringe and sleazy when it's not asked for – but I'd still prefer to know that he was never ever going to phone instead of waiting and waiting in vain! But that's just me.

I do approve of the fact that Magnolea would never go off with someone who wasn't at least worth a second look!

Fighting those feelings of desperation...yikes!

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:44:54 GMT

No word from the 29-year-old. Good job I didn't sleep with him or I'd now be feeling a tad delicate about it wouldn't I?

It's funny how he's interested enough in me to be googling me, but not so much to get in touch. Actually, I'm not that bothered to be honest. He's gorgeous to look at but that will only get him so far.

At the end of the day he's nearly seven years my junior and our personalities are miles apart because of that. I'm not saying that an age gap will never work between two people, but sometimes it can't help being an issue.

There was word from Old Flame

On the other hand I did hear from Old Flame – again. He called to apologise about his drunken visit.

I purposely didn't answer the phone so he left me a voicemail, which I listened to before texting him back to tell him not to worry about it.

I figured that the less drama the better. I'm not going to change OF and it's best to take his actions with a pinch of salt rather than react to them.

There is no why

Having a conversation with him about why he called to my house would be pointless 'cause it's all very simple – he was hammered.

I would love to believe that there was some more profound reason, ie he's actually in love with me but can't admit it!

But hey, I'm not deluded (most of the time!) and I know it was nothing more than a boozy booty call, even if he was so plastered he was hardly in a position to perform.

Anyway, here I am on a very wet, windy and miserable Thursday, fast approaching 36 and single again. Not that I was ever actually attached, but you know what I mean. I had distractions.

I'm feeling slightly hopeless

I hate to go down this road, but today I feel slightly hopeless and desperate! I was talking to a single friend who is my age recently and she reckons the only thing left for women like us is internet dating!

And while I absolutely refuse to buy into that mind set, I must admit that right now I'm wondering if I'm destined to remain alone.

Right, enough of that pessimism – tomorrow is Friday and the least I can do is look forward to the weekend!

Oh one more thing – Magnolea, if you have a moment would it be possible to let me know what happened with the girl whose bed you woke up that Sunday morning about a week or so ago? Did you take her number/ask to see her again? I'm curious...